Well, it’s a big undertaking in theory. Actually, accomplishing any major goal is really just accomplishing a series of small goals that all lead in the same direction.

One of the best organization and time-management skills I ever learned was to break big projects into little ones. 

“I can’t build this whole feature; I don’t even know where to start,” I used to think when I got a huge assignment early on in my career. I would get discouraged by how impossible the task ahead of me seemed and put off doing any work at all until the last minute because I was so overwhelmed.

Then I learned to think about big tasks as many connected small tasks. I realized I didn’t have to do everything all at once; in fact I couldn’t — it was impossible. What I had to do was take one step at a time, and keep moving on to the next little project, until the whole big one was completed. “It’s true, I can’t build the whole feature right now, but I can Google for some examples [although back then it was grepping the source code] for ideas on how to approach this problem. And I can start identifying what interfaces might exist, and I can….”

You can apply the same mindset to pursuing your dream job. When the idea of going after the next big step in your career feels too overwhelming, it can make you shut down before you even get started. But if you can break it down and turn your big goal into a list of smaller goals, it suddenly becomes simple and achievable.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  ― Lao Tzu

You can make progress on your dream job in 10 minutes a day.

We all have 10 minutes a day — no matter how busy we are — where we can take a moment to do something to further our career ambitions.

No one who ever achieved something great did it overnight. They did it through planning, dedication, and a lot of focus. You’ll rarely find an example of someone who achieved their dream by taking some huge random action that paid off big time. Instead, it’s slow and steady progress that wins the race.

So what can you do in 10 minutes a day to get the job you want? Here are some ideas:

(Note: not all of these have to necessarily be completed in one 10-minute session; if you want to spend 10 minutes a day for a week on one concept, for example, that’s fine. These are just meant to be examples of ways to make big progress & decisions in small doses.)

• If you don’t know it already, think about what day-to-day tasks are most important to you in a job. What do you really want to do? What do you really *not* want to do? Make a mind map or other organized list of must-have’s and must-not-have’s.

• Update your LinkedIn profile if it’s not in great shape. Get a current photo, and align your current role and accomplishments with the role you hope to fill next.

• Start a 10-minute-a-day brand-building strategy. Subscribe to newsletters that share news about your desired field or industry. Use Hootsuite to schedule tweets, Facebook updates, and LinkedIn updates to your network sharing interesting articles you find in those newsletters.

• Write down where you’d like to live, along with places where you wouldn’t mind living if the perfect job were there.

• Let friends and contacts in those areas know you’re looking for new opportunities.

• Consider what size team you’d like to lead or be a part of. Is your dream job at a Fortune 500 corporation or a startup? Is it a small local retailer or a global manufacturer?

• Match up companies of the size you like with the locations you wouldn’t mind living in. Say you’d like to live in Seattle or Portland, and work at a company of 50 people or less. Spend 10 minutes a day researching small companies in those cities and dropping them into a spreadsheet.

• Some of these companies are not a match for your interests. Eliminate the ones where you are not a good fit.

• Think about how you can add value to each of the remaining companies on the list. You’ll add value in different ways to a 2-person B2B software startup than you will to a 45-person marketing firm.

• Do some financial planning. Would you be willing to take a pay cut for a job you’re really passionate about? If you expect a raise, how much do you want?  Do you have an emergency fund if things fall through?

• If you can find the information online, research the financials of the companies you’re interested in. Recently funded companies and larger organizations are more likely to be able to provide salary bumps than newer startups.

• Make a list of people you know at the remaining companies you are interested in, or people you know who may be connected to those companies.

• Email one person a day from that list, asking if they’d be willing to chat about openings at the company, or just to catch up (depending on the particular person or company’s situation).

• Start engaging with potential companies on social media. Follow the CEO and active employees, and connect with them by retweeting and sharing content with them.

• Research networking opportunities with current employees and leaders from the company. Are they speaking at conferences? Do they hold events at their headquarters?

• Tweak your resume and draft cover letters.

• Ask friends and peers to review your resume and cover letters.

• Submit an application a week.

Don’t let the smallness of these 10-minute achievements make them seem like they’re not worth doing. It’s quite the opposite. By taking tiny steps and making regular progress, you’ll look back in a month or a year and realize how much momentum you’ve actually built up by taking one small action every day.

This collection of small goals, all completed in the direction of one great big goal, helps you to create an incredibly powerful snowball effect of growing a more and more effective network and job search. They may feel insignificant to do one at a time — after all, what can one little tweet do? — but taking action is better than taking no action.

If you have a dream, don’t wait to start until you have more time. You’ll never have more time than you’ve got right now. So what are you waiting for? 10 minutes is all you need.

“You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.” — The Music Man

10 Minutes a Day to Your Dream Job is a post from: kate { mats }

(image source)

I am pretty good at faking it.

People that don’t know me well are often shocked when I admit I am an introvert.  I am pretty good at pretending to be an extrovert.  However, I still have a ton of social anxiety.

I have a hard time with silence so I will talk too much to keep from sitting there quietly.

Even though I have a genuine interest in people, I struggle to find good questions to ask.

I get tongue-tied when someone asks me a hard question I am not sure how to answer.

Social situations and meetings take a lot out of me.

However, a key part of business and life is winning people over.  It is being charming, persuasive and a leader.

Here are my tips and tricks to help you do this a bit better:

1. Think of rejection as a game.  

No matter how awesome you are not everyone is going to accept you or like you.  Someone You are awesome, but being awesome does not always add up to acceptance.  Inevitably someone isn’t going to accept you or like you.  And if you are anything like me, this was something you dealt with early in your life (I was such an outcast I used to play bridge in the faculty lounge to avoid the teasing).

The fact of the matter is, rejection is part of life.  And unless you can get past the rejection you will never take risks and will miss out on potentially amazing opportunities. Learning to think about rejection as a game and just a part of life can help those moments seem less scary and catastrophic.  Jonathan Gurrera actually wrote a great post on his approach to this gamifying rejection.

2. Establish yourself as someone worth knowing.

I get a lot of emails from people, most of them want something.  They want me to blog about their product, answer some questions, and share their link.  I try to respond to everyone and help as many as I can.  However, I will say I am a bit biased and don’t treat all inquiries equally.  

I am more likely to help someone who has connected with me before (commented on my blog, shared with me on twitter, or added value to me in some other way) or because they seem important (they have a website, blog, or large twitter following).  I am looking for is a signal.  What signals are showing?  If I google you will I be impressed or will I just find irrelevant set of results?

(BTW, this also applies to how you look.  If you look messy and unkempt you may not give off a successful you-want-to-know-me vibe.  Take time to fix up your appearance and try to look attractive.)

3. Demonstrate social proof.

This is a classic technique to help build credibility and trust quickly and is the reason people ask for “introductions” to other people. If there is someone you want to know, the best way to get to know them is through someone else – ideally someone they know and trust (all introductions are not created equal).

If haven’t yet done #2, this option is a great way to help.  Bring along someone who has established themselves as a person worth knowing.  And if you don’t have someone to align with?  Then start with other people in the same position as you and are on their way up.  Align yourself with people you know are going to accomplish amazing things, and as they grow and become successful you will grow alongside of them.  Pretty soon you will both be people others want to know.

You are the average of your 5 closest friends.

4. Find common ground.

Don’t start conversations with confrontational subjects, instead begin with something agreeable.  People are more likely to be persuaded and open if they primed with a message they agree with.

Jing Xu and Robert Wyer conducted a research study where they tested people with Democratic affiliations to a speech by Obama, and Republicans to a speech by John McCain, in both cases when the participants were more easily swayed by an ad when they heard a messaged they agreed with beforehand.

If the conversation starts off on the wrong foot, then focus on steering things back to neutral (or hopefully positive) territory.

5. If you ask for something, let them know they have a choice.

There are lots of techniques to persuade people, but one of the more useful (and less evil) ones is simply to remind people they have a choice.  

“The answer is: the ‘But You Are Free’ technique. This simple approach is all about reaffirming people’s freedom to choose. When you ask someone to do something, you add-on the sentiment that they are free to choose” (source)

By reminding your conversation partner that they have the choice to say no it can almost double your chances they will say yes.

6. But don’t give them too many choices.

If you haven’t heard of the Paradox of Choice, it is essentially that the more options you give someone the less likely they will make a decision.  This means if you want to ask someone for a follow-up meeting or an introduction focus your request.  Don’t send them 7 days and times you can meet, just send them 2-3.  

This also applies to choices in projects, products, and prices.  Really anything.  Limit the options and it will make it easier for people to make decisions.

7.  Create positive associations – with yourself.

The human brain is a pattern matching machine and it maps contextual things that are not always related together.  When you meet and interact with others what sort of pattern do you want them to match with you?  A good one, right?  

Try to listen more than you speak.  Ask open-ended questions that are likely to elicit positive responses and emotions.  Some of my favorites:

• What has been your greatest success or accomplishment this year?

• When was your last vacation?  Where did you go and what did you do?

• What is a book you read that left a big impression on you?

And if you have other ideas of good questions, be sure to leave them in the comments.

In the event the conversation turns to negative topics, express real empathy and concern.  And try to turn the conversation back to positive.  Hugh Rank’s research shows that pattern recognition is even more effective with repetition.

“Our brains are excellent pattern-matchers and reward us for using this very helpful skill. Repetition creates a pattern, which consequently and naturally grabs our attention.”

8. Tell a story.

As computer scientists and engineers many of us lean towards data.  However, in a Carnegie Mellon University study in 2007 by Deborah Small, George Lowenstein and Paul Slovic showed that stories had a more memorable effect than data.  If you want to be memorable and get your message across, try telling a tale that will appeal to their emotions, not just logic.

And if you want to build trust be authentic. Vulnerability is powerful (just look at the success of Jessica Simpson and other reality stars).  None of us really know what we are doing, and we all make mistakes.  Be willing to open up and share others and people will feel more inclined to share and take part in your journey.

9. Be confident – fake it until you make it.

And finally, if you aren’t comfortable do your best to put on a happy face and fake it. A study from Carnegie Mellon’s Center for Behavioral Decision Research showed that confidence will win over accuracy when it comes to earning the trust of other people.

Eventually people will start scoffing at the fact that you claim you are not an extrovert.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

If you want more, here is a video on the science of persuasion – but feel free to leave more details in the comments.

Networking: The Secrets to Being Charming and Persuasive is a post from: kate { mats }

I am lazy. 

If there is a shortcut I will take it. 

I love feeling accomplished, but I don’t always love the hard work it takes to get there.  And my inertia used to be a big hurdle, but over the years I transformed into a high bandwidth, entrepreneur (aka doing the work of a whole team of people) and this article describes my process.

What my life was like…..

When I started working out of college it was a rough transition.  Every task was brand new and the fear of the unknown paralyzed me. 

Each day I would head into the office gung-ho about all the work I was going to complete, and inevitably I would find myself searching the internet Googling things like “stop procrastination” and “be more productive”. 

When the weekend came around, I would sit on my couch contemplating everything I should be doing.  I had developed akrasia, which is worse than procrastination because you aren’t really relaxing because your mind is occupied by the things you should be doing.    

At some point fear would set in and the adrenaline would get me going and I would start work furiously.  This sprint mentality worked well and 90% of the time I would get all the work completed on time.  However, every single time I would end up with the haunting thought:

“If I could work like this all the time I would be unstoppable.”

And that became my quest: to be productive all the time, not just right before the deadline.

How I get things done

The key to being productive is to have a plan. The first part of a plan is getting started.  And getting started means dealing with your mind and emotions.

It is really hard to get things done if you aren’t motivated to do the work.

One of the reasons I was so productive was I had extrinsic motivation – I would never get promoted if I didn’t complete my projects.  I am also naturally a people pleaser so I would hate to disappoint my manager.  Some work  (like writing this blog post) you may do because of intrinsic motivation; you enjoy the process. 

Therefore the first part of any task is to figure out the why behind it.  What is the inspiration behind it? 

Finding your work rewarding is really a whole other post in and of itself – you can check out this post on How to Forever Cure to Your Lack of Motivation or my previous one on finding your flow and motivation.

You are emotional and your brain is emotional so you need to find a connection and a why for your work (even if it is just the bliss of marking something complete).

Once you know why you are doing the work, then you need to understand why you aren’t doing the work.

In my case, each task was about one week long.  And these big bites were hard for me to get my head around, and the fear of the unknown would increase my inertia.  The less I knew about the work, the harder the inertia would be to overcome.

One of the best tips I ever got was to break up my projects.  And I don’t mean just breaking them into the logical pieces of work.  After all, if you knew all the logical pieces of work then it wouldn’t be so scary and unknown right?  Literally the powerful realization was to break up the work into the pieces of how I would start the work.  What would I search for on Google?  Who would I ask about the project?

All you really need is the next action, so just focus on the next thing needed to move that project forward.

Those are the items I put on my list, I start with those small things and make sure I make progress each day.  One small item at a time.

Get organized.

It sounds cliché, but if you aren’t organized you end up wasting time.  Whether it is creating a pile of receipts on your desk or searching for your keys, if you don’t have a system then you will be losing time where you could otherwise making progress. 

At a minimum, I think you need the following caches for your stuff:

• A task list for your day-to-day work
• A someday list for all the things you might do in the future
• A contact list for people, along with a place for notes about them – things like where you met and the names of their children
• A place for your ideas and insights (ideally one you can use on the go too)
• A way to organize your bookmarks.  I used to use a browser but moved to Evernote to keep notes about them too and organize them more logically.
• A place for receipts (I keep 3 folders – one for tax-deductible receipts, one for business expenses, and one for everything else.  Expensify is also a great app for staying on top of work receipts.)
• A calendar to organize your time and your day
• A method to organize your electronic documents on your hard drive

These systems are important because they will save you time looking for things, but they also will help you get started much faster when you sit down to do your work.

I use Things for my task list (although I probably would use a free one now, but when there weren’t a lot of good options – I would just make sure it syncs to mobile and your computer). And I use Evernote for all sorts of things – for example, I keep blog post ideas in a note and then when I sit to write like tonight I can pull one off the top.  See!

Managing your mail

Email in many ways is someone else’s priorities or requests, not your own.  And I think checking email and the gratification you get from “finishing it” causes an addition-like behavior.  This article summed it up well:

“You may not like spending long amounts of time in your inbox, but you probably think about checking it pretty often. When you hear that ding (or vibrate), you know there’s something waiting for you. To make things worse, because you do not receive email at set intervals and you don’t know if that email is going to be something you want, your curiosity is piqued the moment the ding occurs just so you can find out if you’ve received something you want or if it’s a waste of your time.”

When I have a lot of “thought work”, such as writing code or articles like this one, I limit the frequency of email checking.  Since I started working on my startup, popforms, I even put up an auto-responder so people don’t expect a prompt response.  I schedule time to “do email” and if I don’t finish it then I won’t tackle it until my next email slot. 

Develop your email methodology

Inbox Zero was a godsend for me.  We are actually working on a course called “Two Weeks to Inbox Zero” that sends you a 15 minutes daily task for 10 days to get you inbox zero (if you are interested, be sure to put in your email on the popforms website – since those requesting early access will be the first ones to hear when it is available)

When it comes to processing emails (or other work for that matter), I like to take shortcuts.

I use David Allen’s GTD philosophy that if a task takes less than 2 minutes you should just do it.  I also keep lists, but I was never able to really do the locations and roles parts.  It was just a bit too complex for me. 

The PersonalMBA book covered the 4 methods of completion and as you go through each item on your list take one of the following actions:

• Completion: Doing the task. It’s best for tasks that only you can do particularly well.
• Deletion: Eliminating the task. It’s effective for anything that’s unimportant or unnecessary.
• Delegation: Assigning the task to someone else. It’s effective for anything that other person can do 80% as well as you.
• Deferment: Putting the task off until later. It’s effective for tasks that aren’t critical or time-dependent.

I use Text Expander and anything I find myself typing more than once I create a template for it.   You can also used canned responses in Gmail for common email responses which won’t work everywhere, but it is free, and email is where I use them most (I know people who also use signatures in outlook for similar purposes).

To give you an idea of how useful these are here is a small set of the snippets I use:

• Recruiter thanks, but no thanks response
• Vendor thanks, but no thanks response
• Introduction templates
• My address  (one for home, and I used to have one for work when I worked outside of my house)
• Directions to my house
• My websites
• My bio
• Response to people wanting to advertise on my website
• Offer letters
• Setting up interviews

The sky is the limit here, just make sure you have a smart naming system, because once you have them the trick is training yourself to use them.

Now get to work

Your systems and infrastructure may be optimum to do the work, but the real work is putting the rubber on the road. 

And for me that was an exercise in discipline and prioritization.

Setting priorities

Each week I establish my 2-3 themes for the week.   These are the major things I really want to get done.  I will check my goals each week and make sure that the work I am doing fits into my big picture.

Then daily I take a moment to plan my day.  I try to do this before anything else – including getting caught in my inbox.  Need some inspiration to take charge of your mornings?  Read this post: What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast

And if you need more time make it a habit to start getting up earlier.  This didn’t work for me, I don’t think I will ever be a morning person, but I know a lot of people who swear by it.

Make the most of your time

I use my calendar to set aside time for important tasks.  I block it off so I don’t get distracted or pulled into meetings.  This technique is great for email, because you know when you “do email”, and for me it reduces the desire to check email and allows me to get more work done.

Batch similar tasks together. 

This is a great article on batching tasks and doing work that shares the same context.  Errands are an extreme example, but I also batch things like reading the news and curating articles for the TLN. 

Make the most of small slices.

If I only had 15 minutes I would write it off as lost time and spend those minutes on Twitter or shopping online.  Now I keep a list of items that are less than 15 minutes.  And a lot of these can be done on my iPhone; like responding to some emails or reading articles I have set aside to read later.  I fill in the cracks with productive work. 

When I drive in the car I always do conference calls or listen to audiobooks.  It is like a university in the car.  I stay on top of new business books, and I think that listening to them makes me a better driver (well, at least a less aggressive driver).  After I get out of the car I try to write my top 3 takeaways from the reading session so I can remember and retain what I heard.

Get disciplined. 

Willpower is like a muscle and the more you exercise it, the stronger it will get.  One technique I swear by is to set a timer and just start working (this is also called the Pomodoro technique).  I will tell myself if I don’t feel like working when the timer is up in 10 minutes I will do the task later.  However, I usually get into a groove and work as originally planned.

You have to build your willpower muscle, and this ultimately is one of the biggest factors in my super charged productivity.  I have spent years building up my willpower and discipline to just start working and making progress.

And when you need a break, take a break. 

I don’t adhere to a 9-5 schedule, since that isn’t my rhythm.  I do certain tasks in the morning when my head is foggy (like I said earlier, I am not a morning person), but I save the more focused smart thinking work for later in the day when I am at my best. 

I also make a point to unplug for a bit to spend some quality time with the family.  Then I will often pick back up since I get productive later at night.

Set up an environment for success

Distraction can be a problem, however, it was ultimately not one of the ones that really interfered with me.  I found that once I set to do something I would finish it.  However, if you have a problem with distraction I thought this was a great post on the topic: Defeat Distraction: Refocusing with Purpose.

I do think it helps to have good tools (computer, keyboard, mouse, pens, paper, etc.) and a comfortable environment.  Put yourself in a place where it is easy to be successful (I get distracted if there are dirty dishes in the sink, so I always have to wash them before I can work – it is just one of those things I suppose).

The hard reality

There aren’t any shortcuts to make work take less time.  All of the work to being more productive is learning to be more disciplined and organized (making you more efficient).  The good news is that you get better at it with more practice and effort.

Other tips and tricks?  Leave them in the comments, I am sure others would love to know.

People are lazy. Here’s how I get shit done. is a post from: kate { mats }

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You are amazing.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. In fact, eventually, you are going to have to believe it with every fiber of your being.

Why?  Because it is true.

You have a superpower, and it is possible you have even more than one.  The trick is to hone in on those strengths and bring your art to the world and those around you.

We are all capable of art.  As Seth Godin wrote in his most recent book, The Icarus Deception,“The question isn’t whether you are capable of godlike work. (you are.) The question is: Are you willing?”

Let me prove it to you.  

Try answering the following questions (in your head is fine):

• When was the last time you knocked it out of the park at work (or school)?

• When were you able to solve a problem, or came up with a creative solution that no one else thought of?

• Do you have people who come to you for advice or in times of need?

• Do you have a desire to grow and be an even better person than you were yesterday?

• Are you ever frustrated when you don’t get done as much as you know you could have?  You are so capable and you know that you could do even more with just a bit more discipline.

Were you able to answer these then I would venture to say that you are pretty capable of awesome, you just have to find the right application for it.  And some companies squash out the beautiful creative sparks, or the our work environment is in opposition to our natural rhythms that we aren’t set up for success.

First, though, before we get to obstacles you have to hone in on your strengths.  

Step 1 – Understanding what makes you *fantastic*

Do you ever have one of those days when you bound out of bed and just know that there is something magical in the air and you can do anything?  

For me, these days usually come after a day when I did something super great – like finished a big task, received praise from someone I consider important, and solved a difficult challenge.

Most of us like to do things that we are good at.  No one wants to do a bad job (although I don’t think enough people subscribe to the thinking of “if you are doing to do something, do it well”; the way my friend Jeff makes his bed comes to mind every time I am putting on some sheets and doing it half-assed).  And all of us seek a sense of meaning in our work (this is a great talk on how important that is at work actually).

Your job needs to leverage your superpowers. 

If it is then there will be parts of your job where you know you can excel and exceed expectations.  And this means you will feel happy and have a greater sense of satisfaction and accomplishment because you will definitely be able to do a job well done.

Most of the times I have seen people fail in roles at both big companies and small, it was because they managed to land a role that was a stretch and did not have enough daily work that played to their strengths.  

The first set of exercises focus on your superpowers, and  how to apply them to your career.

Exercise #1:

• What are your top 3 strengths?  And give one example of when you have shown each of them recently.

• Ask 3 friends and 3 coworkers about your strengths and talents.  What do they tell you?  Does it align with what you thought?  You can always ask follow-up questions if you aren’t sure.  To make your life easier I have included an email template to request this feedback.

Hello ______,

I am taking a leap and reaching out.  I am doing some soul-searching and would love your help in my quest.  If you have a few moments could you answer these questions as objectively as possible.  Any insights, ideas or fresh perspective would be wonderful and helpful.  

Thanks in advance for taking the time, please let me know if I can ever return the favor.

xoxo,
Kate

Here are the questions:

1. What would you consider my greatest strength?  Can you give one example when I have shown this strength?

2. When did you see me the happiest?  What do you think made me so happy?

3. When have you really seen me shine and be my best?

• Does your job consistent mostly of work that falls into the class of strengths?  Do you know of any jobs that do?  Read through some job descriptions on Craigslist and see if there are other jobs that could be a better fit.  Go ahead and save these job posts to an Evernote or file on your computer to come back to in the future.

Step 2 – Identify what really matters to you

Hopefully you believe me a little more about your talents.  However, a key part of success isn’t just about doing what is comfortable, but it is about growth.  

Do you know where you eventually want to go?

Do you want to start a company?

Or do you want to climb the corporate ladder and manage a global business?

Or maybe you want to have flexibility and freedom to write your book, open your nursery, or design your fashion line?

And perhaps you just aren’t sure.  

Your destination can help guide your thinking.  You can interview people in those roles and ask them about what skills made them successful.  How did they get where they are today and what has helped them make that journey?  Then you can create your own map to your destination.  

Just don’t get caught up in the prestige of a role – things can seem glamorous, but every job has high points and low points (since if it was all fun they probably wouldn’t pay you to do it).  So be sure to ask about both the upside and downside in these interviews.

Exercise #2:

• What is your destination in 10 or 20 years from now?  Visualize your life.  Where do you live, what do you do everyday, and who do you do it with?  Imagine you are there now and looking backwards, what have you achieved or accomplished since 2013?

• Who are 3-5 people in your future job or career?  Reach out to them and aim to interview 1 of them – even just over email.  Here is a template to get you started:

Hello ______,

I was researching great [insert job/role here] and I came across your profile and contact information and I had to reach out.  Your success and achievements are what I am aspiring toward in my life, and I was wondering if you would be willing to answer 4 short questions for me to guide me on my path.

I know you are crazy busy, so if it is easier to jump on a phone call let me know.  My questions are below.

Thanks in advance for taking the time, please let me know if I can ever help you in any way.

Very truly yours,
Kate

Here are the questions:

1. What were the key experiences or traits that helped you achieve [insert role here]?

2. What are your 3 favorite parts about your job?

3. What are the 3 things you like least about your job?

4. Do you have any advice for a [insert your current job here] on her[or his] path become a [insert role here]?

• What are the skills or traits on your roadmap?  And how do those translate to goals?

Even if you don’t have a destination yet (even I am still trying to figure out what I want to do), whatever is next for you needs to push you.  You need more than just a paycheck.

You need to shine.

And no matter what you choose success is often determined by:

• Experience – being able to apply what you learned to future endeavors

• Your Network – who you know and how they feel about you (so you want to work with smart people going somewhere, and impress them during your interactions)

• Hard work – nothing great ever happened without effort.

(Although Einstein said success was determined by: “If A equals success, then the formula is: A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” so feel free to make your own definition)

So as you evaluate options, look for more. Here are some ideas:

• The amazing people who have the success you are working to reach.

• You get to learn a new skill, build new knowledge, and get paid in the process.

• The chances to meet amazing people in a way that will build your network and open doors to future opportunities.

• You gain flexibility – more time, part-time, the chance to work on other projects, etc.

• The work you are doing to do has real meaning.  You make a difference in people’s lives and can come home with a sense of satisfaction that *you* made the world a better place.

Of course there are many others, but with every choice there is an opportunity cost of what you aren’t doing instead, so you should maximize the things that matter and will push you the most.

One technique I love for really delving into all of this is to ask yourself “Why?” 5 times.  

1. Why do you want that promotion? More responsibility, opportunity and money.

2. Why do you want more responsibility, opportunity and money?  I want to be respected and make great things happen.  A little more money would be nice too – I could take more vacations and buy things for people around me.  

3. Why do you want to be respected and make things happen? I like the way I feel when I teach other people (which happens when they respect me and solicit my ideas).  I also like building things that help other people and have a positive impact on their lives.

4. Why do you want to teach others and make a positive impact? People have done a lot for me and I like paying it forward.  I also get a great sense of accomplishment when I feel like the work I am doing translate into something positive for others.  

5. Why do want to pay it forward and make a positive impact? Deep down I am a bit insecure so the reassurance and praise makes me feel good and gives me a purpose.  The prestige of the role of mentor also makes me feel accomplished and proud.  My core desire is to be appreciated, accepted and loved.

This exercise can help you get to the root of your goals, and maybe even open other avenues to achieve those same feelings and associations.  And then you can look at the Five Fold How to figure out how to get there.

Exercise #3

• For at least 3 of your goals listed in the last part of exercise 2, do the 5 Why exercise.  

• What do you discover?  Do your insights change your goals or plan?

Step 3 – Put it into action (and my offer to help)

If you know what matters, and you know where you want to do then the last step is taking the steps you need to get there.

Since the actions required are different for each person, it is hard to write a one size fits all plan.  Therefore I am offering my services to you all for free.  If you do all the exercises in this post, and really put in some effort, I will help you.

Share your results from the exercises with me (in a Google Doc is fine) and I will do a Skype/Google Hangout session with you to talk through some strategies to put your plan into action.   

As my time is in short supply these days this I will work with the 10 best submissions I receive. To be considered please send me the documents with your notes, peer feedback, career feedback, and your answers and I will review them and get back to everyone by 5/1.

I am really excited to see the results.  Good luck, and may you accomplish everything you set out to do.

// image source

A 3-Step Guide to Reaching Your Dreams (and my offer to help you get there) is a post from: kate { mats }

[ this post is the third part of the difficult people series, if you missed the first 2, check out the one on dealing with a bad boss, and the one on handling pesky peers that don’t work for you ]

One of the hardest parts of any job is working with difficult people. No matter how much we wish they would just change and make our lives easier, that’s not the most effective strategy for getting things done in the face of a difficult coworker.

When you’re a manager, you’re responsible for a lot – not the least of the success and satisfaction of the people on your team. But not everyone makes it easy. Today let’s take a look at how to handle a difficult employee.

When I first became a manager, it took me a long time to figure out the kind of manager I was going to be. I struggled with wanting to be friends with everyone on my team, but also wanting to be taken seriously by everyone above and below me, and it was a while before I found the balance that worked for me.

And while I was figuring out my role and career, the whole time I was also managing a team of several people who I was supposed represent and lead. A lot of managers (especially new ones) are so busy trying to do everything expected of them as manager that dealing with a bad employee is the last thing they want to do.

It can be overwhelming to run a team or department, and demands come from all sides. When an employee is causing problems, there are plenty of people who get overwhelmed and don’t know what to do, or who decide they just don’t want to deal with it at all.

But you are a manager. Your whole job is to make every single person on your team successful by helping them do the best work and strengthen their career. To be an effective manager, you have to face a struggling employee head on – not only for their sake, but for the sake of the rest of your team. A problem employee can send bad vibes through an otherwise awesome team and make everyone’s lives more difficult.

What’s the best way to manage an employee who’s causing a negative stir?  Below are some strategies that have worked for me and those around me.

Every big problem starts as a small one

Ignoring a problem and hoping it gets better on its own is rarely a good strategy. When you notice problems starting to arise with a particular employee (or group of employees), it’s really important to pay attention to it right away.

Everyone has bad days, and everyone makes mistakes, so you don’t necessarily need to intervene every single time someone lets a project slip or says something negative in a meeting. But you do need to take note, and be aware if the problem continues.

If you notice, though, that things are getting worse or an employee is consistently repeating the same bad behavior, you do need to step in. Think about it: people don’t act like jerks because it’s fun or they think it will make things better. More often, bad behavior stems from things like insecurity and lack of trust – like when a new boss comes in or there’s another change in the organization or process. A blowup at a meeting probably has less to do with that one thing they’re yelling about, and more to do with how that one thing exemplifies the underlying problem they have with you (or the organization).

So first you need to find out what it is that’s causing them to behave in a harmful way. Understanding a person’s motivations unlocks your power to do something about it.  Think of it like root cause analysis, things are unlikely to improve if you don’t address the underlying cause.

Unfortunately, most managers aren’t equipped with special super powers that allow them to read their employee’s minds. So that means you’re going to need to have a conversation.

Communication is your best friend

The best way to find out what’s bothering someone is to ask. When you ask people to explain what is causing their issue, the real reason may surprise you; you’re not inside their head, so your assumptions about their problems can be way off.

That’s why it’s best to make it possible for them to just tell you, without leading them (intentionally or not) to tell you something you want to hear. One thing I’ve learned in doing a ton of interviews is that you’ve got to learn to frame questions in a way that removes the other person’s incentive to give you the answer they think you want. Job candidates (and employees) want your approval, and most will try to craft their responses to conform to what you want. Create a situation in which their fear of saying the wrong thing can go away, and they can speak truthfully.

The best way to do this with a bad employee is to frame the conversation as an opportunity for you to get to know each other better, and to remind them that your goal is to help and support them.

Keep it non-confrontational; my goal in dealing with problems on a team is to keep everything neutral or positive. Instead of walking up and saying, “Hey, you have an attitude. What’s the deal?”, start the conversation by demonstrating your interest in them.

Ask them what they like about their work. Ask how things are going for them, and how they feel about their career. It’s also a good opportunity for you to tell them more about yourself too. Emphasize how passionate you are about the work your company is doing, and how important your team is to that work.

Explain a bit about your role in relationship to them: you’re there to help them, to unblock them, and to make their work life easier. If you or the employee is new, let them know that you’re going to keep working *for* them and that trust will build the longer you guys are working together.

I’ll go on to ask what I can do in the future to keep problems like this one from happening again. It’s completely possible that you made a call on a new process or said something offhand in a meeting that was actually a huge deal to the people you manage. The more you know about these things when they happen, the better you can do. Let them know you want to hear from them, because you want to make things better.

I’ve done things like this before, and have been surprised to hear from an employee that something I thought was a good idea really wasn’t working. You’re not there in the trenches with them every day, so be open to the fact that your “great idea” might actually be causing problems for the people on your team. And then (and perhaps most importantly) be willing to fix it.

Having the conversation

Before you ever get around to the real meat of the conversation you want to have with a struggling employee, there are a bunch of subtle things you can do to help build trust and make it possible for them to open up to you about their issues.

For example, I find that putting yourself in a position so that you’re on the same level as them is extremely helpful. You might try finding a project where you and that person can work on something together, or you can try asking them for help on something in your domain.

Tell them, “I was just going over the new feature your team submitted, and I thought this part was so awesome.” Then ask, “Can you tell me more about how you made it work?” Giving them the opportunity to tell you about their good work builds trust, and helps them to see you as someone genuinely interested in them and their career. This is also a great way to get at small problems before they become big ones, and can nip a potential situation in the bud.

If you need to discuss a larger issue head on, keep the situation and place as neutral as possible. I like to take them out to lunch or coffee, so you’re out of the confines of the office and on neutral territory. Dynamics are different out in the real world. It’s easier to see your boss as someone you can talk to instead of “the person in charge” when you’re not in the same place their problems are occurring.

When you’re ready to head out for the meeting, pick them up at their desk instead of making them come to you. Keep it on their turf; the boss’ office can be an intimidating place for some.

Everything you can do to seem less like a tyrannical authority figure is in your best interest. Talk to them like a person, stay engaged, and listen close.

Let cooler heads prevail

In the heat of the moment, a lot of nasty things can get said. Unless it’s absolutely necessary for you to speak up right there, at that moment about a problem, always try to save your conversation with a problem employee until everyone’s calmed down a bit.

Not only will you save the both of you from speaking out of anger, but you’re much more likely to get a positive result than you would trying to talk to someone who’s boiling over. An angry person isn’t interested in letting you help them. Someone who’s had a chance to cool off more likely will be.

Letting a problem cool off is also a great chance for you to get an outside opinion. I once had an employee make a really negative comment to me, and in the moment, I was upset but figured he meant well and just misspoke. When I was talking this situation over with a friend after work, though, they gave me insight into what that person could have meant.

It was a great chance to see the issue from another person’s perspective, and allowed me to discuss the problem with the employee by seeing it a little more clearly from their point of view (and for more on this check out this book Difficult Conversations - my friend Erin recommended it and it gives you a whole new look on context and intentions). Remember, we’re not mind readers, so if you need it, ask for help to walk in the other person’s shoes.

One of my favorite sayings is this: you have two ears and only one mouth, so you’re supposed to listen twice as much. Helping a bad employee get back on track and be successful is all about communicating with them well and letting them help you help them.

If you’ve had a success repairing a relationship with an employee, or have other tips or references, please share them in the comments.  

A surefire formula to deal with difficult employees is a post from: kate { mats }

Last time, we tackled handling a bad boss. This time, it’s your pesky peers. What can you do when someone on your team is making it difficult for you to succeed?

We’ve all had coworkers we just could not get along with.

Handling a difficult coworker can often feel even more challenging than dealing with a tough boss. At least with your manager, you have a prescribed channel of communication and you each know where the other one stands. You likely have 1:1 meetings where you can communicate issues, and their role and your role and your whole work relationship are pretty strictly defined.

With peers, there are no such rules. Neither one of you is “in charge of” the other, and there’s no established space for you to discuss your issues, so when problems arise, it’s not clear how best to deal with them and still be professional. And unfortunately, problems with coworkers are all too common.

Many people are difficult to work with – some intentionally so and some not – and it’s important for your career success and your general sense of well-being at work (where we spend so much time) that you be able to make these situations better. So what do you do if someone on your team is making is hard for you to succeed, or even do the basic functions of your job?

believe in the magic of kindness

The competitor

I wrote a blog post recently about learning to be less competitive with your peers, which is something I have struggled with in my own career. Unfortunately it’s very common at a lot of companies for people to see their immediate coworkers or teammates as their competition, which means that when you get the feeling someone is trying to make it harder for you to do your job, it may be because that’s exactly what they’re doing!

Working in a competitive environment makes some people think it’s in their best interest to hold their peers back and make sure they always have the upper hand. When you’re trying to do your best work and make the whole team successful for the good of the company, it can be so frustrating to have to deal with someone who’s trying to keep you down. But here’s what you can do:

Stay the course. 

As frustrating as it might be, you cannot retaliate with the same behavior in return. It’s always best to continue doing your own great work and let their destructive behavior run its course than to try to fight fire with fire. Trying to undermine a team member usually takes so much time and energy that they can’t keep it up for long and keep contributing high-quality work, so just keep doing your best and try to be distracted by them as little as possible.

“Kill ‘em with kindness.”

It’s one of my favorite techniques for dealing with difficult people, which is a strategy I embraced from my friend Joanna Lord. If you’ve got someone on your team who seems to always have a problem with you the best you can do is to spend time with them.  Lots of time. While it may seem counterintuitive, if you go back to the analogy that relationships are like filmstrips, the only way to fix it is going to involve adding more frames to that filmstrip to make the bad frames less noticeable.  Make a point not to avoid them, but to actually spend more time getting to know them. Offer to help them with things, say a friendly “hello” every morning, ask them to eat lunch with you. Anything you can do to wiggle your way into their heart will help.  

If someone is a P-I-T-A (pain in the ass – for those not familiar with the acronym) chances are that it isn’t you, but them.  Chances are they are acting out of fear, insecurity, or another emotion.  So the key to really resolving the situation is to remove that emotion in their interactions with you.  Spend time with them.  Let me get to know you and see your motivations.  If you can make them feel safe and remove whatever emotions is causing them to act out, then you will be amazed at how your interactions can improve.

It’s a lot harder to undermine or be competitive with someone you see as a friend, so do your best to make them see you as a friend (or as close as you can get!). The more they see you as a real person and someone who can help them succeed, the better off you’ll be.

The un-team-player

Peers who don’t meet the expectations set for them can have a huge impact on their team and cause divisions and frustrations that make everyone less effective. Especially if you’re working on a group project where everyone is expected to contribute certain parts, it can be a huge problem for morale and productivity when someone either doesn’t do enough work or tries to do work for other people.

Usually this problem stems from either simple miscommunication or more complicated feelings about team dynamics. As with most things, always try tackling the simple solution first:

Make sure expectations are clear.

When you’re dealing with someone who disrupts your team flow, its best to talk with them directly about expectations and how things will get done. You might learn that they were doing extra work or less work simply because they made incorrect assumptions about whose responsibilities were whose. A quick conversation can clarify what’s expected of everyone and make sure tasks are completed on time by the right people.

That’s the ideal resolution to the situation. You may find, however, that they felt they needed to do extra work because they knew the rest of the team would mess it up, or that they felt like they weren’t getting due credit for their contributions so they gave up on trying to do anything. When this is the case, there are some small actions you can take to bring them back onboard.

Give credit whenever possible.

If you have a coworker who’s slacking or showing off because they feel their regular work isn’t acknowledged, make sure to tell your manager (or theirs) about everyone’s contributions. If you’re in a position to call out great work in meetings, do that. Otherwise look for opportunities like status email’s that everyone on your team is included on to report awesome contributions by specific people.  And you can always walk by their desk and tell them they did a good job too – most people don’t get enough praise at work.

Stay connected to the whole team.

It’s harder for people to do other people’s work or skip assignments if it’s made explicitly clear who’s doing what. Don’t be afraid to overdo it on discussing who is doing what on a project, or ask clarifying questions throughout the process to make sure responsibilities are clear. Resist the urge to just shut them out because they’re frustrating you; instead, be extra-communicative. Better to be overly specific and have everything accomplished, than to be vague and have things not completed (or completed by two people).

The bad attitude

Bad coworkers don’t even have to be impacting your work to make it harder for you to do your job. Someone with a bad attitude – who’s passive-aggressive in meetings, complains about group work, or talks negatively about other people in the office – can make everyone on the team feel worse and be less productive.

Don’t engage.

Your parents probably told you the best way to deal with a bully was just to ignore them. Well that’s the case here too! If someone is gossiping about other team members or trying to start a conflict in a meeting, don’t give them what they’re looking for. Divert negativity into productive conversations, and respond by asking them to get back on track or bring up a positive to focus on.

Commiserating is one of the worst things you can do for your career, actually.  Talking badly about others and joining the pity party only undermines the whole team. It is always better to take the high road and….

Listen actively, and look for ways to help.

Bad attitudes can bubble up when people feel they’re not being listened to or taken seriously by other people. If you really listen to what someone’s saying (like if they say they’re not getting enough credit for work or they think a project isn’t going well) you can often glean to root of their problem – and you may be able to take steps to fix it. Big problems usually start as small ones, so pay attention to what started their issues and see if you can do anything to help alleviate their stress.

Set limits.

If you’ve got a complainer who always wants to spend lunch griping about the boss or who stays at your desk telling you about all the problems they’re having on the current project, you can be a compassionate listener but also let them know that’s not how you want to spend your time. We all need to vent sometimes. If it goes on too long, though, politely tell them you’ve got to get back to work or that you want to talk about something else.

Should I tell my boss?

When you have a problem or question at work, one of the fastest ways to handle it usually is to bring it to your leadership. Unfortunately, doing this with a negative coworker almost never works the way you hope it will and should usually be avoided.

A lot of coworker bad behavior is best left to itself or handled directly with the person. Taking performance issues to someone’s boss can appear a bit presumptuous, and may send the message that you think they’re not aware of problems on their own team. After all, you don’t know what’s going on in the mind of the boss.

They may be completely aware of your coworker’s issues and – especially if they’re handling it tactfully – they may already be taking action to improve the situation by coaching or intervening with your coworker behind closed doors.

But those reasons aside, good bosses will almost always reply with something along the lines of “Have you talked to them about it?”  And you don’t want that answer to be no, so it is usually the best place to start. Most bosses want people to take control and handle their own problems, so show your mad leadership skills and take steps to rectify the situation.

It’s different, of course, if a coworker is making your feel threatened or uncomfortable at work – you should always report situations that you think could get out of hand and affect workplace safety or people’s ability to get their jobs done.

Whenever possible, though, do your best to repair the relationship and encourage good behavior on your own. You’ll be surprised how many situations can be resolved with a conversation or increased team communication. Give it a try with your most difficult coworker this week, and let me know how it went in the comments!

Managing Difficult People – Your Pesky Peers (part 2) is a post from: kate { mats }

If you think you can just run away from the problem, well you can’t.  Trust me, I have left several jobs thanks to the difficult people around me. But reality is that difficult people will pop up everywhere throughout your life.

So it’s in everyone’s best interest to learn how to work *with* the difficult people in their lives and not running away from them, and to manage your interactions with them in a way that helps you both be successful. You can’t avoid difficult people, but you can improve your relationships with them and your work life overall by exerting a little positive effort.

To that end, here is part one series of posts on how to manage difficult people in your career.

First up? Bad bosses.

……………………..

A bad boss can make everything harder. Every project, every interaction becomes harder when you have someone who’s not on your side or who is difficult to work with. And when that person is in a position of authority over you? Well, now you’re not just frustrated but you also feel powerless to do anything about it.

I once had a very successful whom I found endlessly frustrating, and ultimately was the reason I left the company. He was horrible. A great example of his frustrating behavior is that during calibration (the already awful process where managers are forced to stack rank employees across their organization) he would force everyone to talk about people as bulldogs, collies, or poodles.  I was so upset I ended up having to excuse myself, and then ended up playing along only to get my team’s the reviews and rankings they deserved.  It was his team and you had to play by his rules.

In retrospect, there was a lot more I could have done and knowing what I know now I could have triumphed and risen higher in the organization.  There are lots of techniques and strategies to work around people like this – and with a dash of patience these things tend to right themselves.

I think a lot of people who have bad bosses feel that their only option is to quit. After all, you can’t exactly call your boss into your office and tell them you’re giving them a negative review this year. But there are realistic actions you can take to improve this relationship without having to jump ship.

I have talked a lot on this blog before about the importance of managing upwards. Your boss is potentially your biggest asset in your career and movement to the next level, so it’s worth your while to try to improve this relationship. You’ll get not just the short-term benefits of daily interactions being easier, but you’ll also get also the long-term win of an ally for your big picture career ambitions (and hopefully won’t be forced to talk about team members as breeds of dogs).

[image source]

Focus on building a relationship

I once took over a team with a person who made my life incredibly difficult, and who did not want me as their manager at all. It was one of the more difficult moments I have had at work.  They would make snarky comments during my meetings (if they showed up, which wouldn’t have been on time), and took advantage of any opportunity where they could undermine me.  They made it clear they didn’t think I was doing a good job and looked for ways to make my job harder. I wanted to quit.  But instead of shutting down or writing them off, I took knowledge and lessons and saw it as a challenge: “You don’t know it yet – but I’m going to be your new best friend at work.”

Instead of avoiding them I seized any chance I had I work closely with them.  I setup weekly one-on-one meetings, some over lunch or coffee.  During that time I focused on them, what they wanted to see the team do, what they wanted to do with their career, and who they were.  I listened intently, and asked them for feedback on my ideas, and small favors to help see them though.    Over the months I built a relationship and this person is one of the people I miss most from that job.

Relationships take time, and the more energy you put into making a negative relationship into a positive one, the better that relationship will naturally become. Find ways to help; do favors; ask for advice. When people see each other as real people with good intentions, they can’t help but start to let bad feelings melt away.

Get to know your boss better.

It’s really easy for someone to become a caricature in your mind (the pointy hair guy in Dilbert comes to mind). Like, when you see your boss you immediately start thinking about what a self-centered jerk he or she is, or how they never recognize your work, and suddenly that emotion colors all of your interactions with them. Everything they do confirms all the horrible things you think about them, compounding all of your bad feelings over again.

(And be honest, there is something a little satisfying about thinking terrible things about someone you are sure is just an awful person. A lot of us can be reluctant to give up our 100% negative perceptions of people, for fear we’ll have to develop a more nuanced understanding of them and cut them some slack.

But, I’m sorry to say, even self-centered jerks have soft sides sometimes, and spending more time with someone gives you the chance to see them as a more complete person. Maybe you’ll learn that your boss is masking their own insecurities by critiquing others harshly. Or you might discover through conversations that your boss is being micromanaged by their own boss, and they’re stressed under the pressure.

And you might just realize that it’s not that they’re rude, they’re just bad on the phone.

I also tend to think that no one wants to be “bossed”, “managed” or “told what to do”.  Who liked their parents when they were the ones standing between you and something you wanted?  It is the nature of authority – smart people tend to rebel against it.  And learning to like the person with the can be a bitter pill to swallow.  However, that relationship can be one of your most important – leading to promotions, raises, mentoring, and references.

By having a bit of empathy, and taking the time to understand your boss’ motivations and fears, it lets you into their heads, and helps you perceive their actions and words more accurately.

Find out what makes them tick at work.

Coming to see your boss as a complete person will help you better understand how to work with them in a work context. In your next meeting ask about their work life; what are their biggest priorities, problems, annoyances, and perhaps even goals? 

How do they see their career growing and changing within your company?  What keeps them up at night?  Learning what is driving them can help you contribute positively, but if you don’t know, or haven’t asked you could be looking in the wrong places for these opportunities (if not missing them entirely).

Everybody has a certain way they prefer to get things done. If you learn what this means to your boss, you’ll do better at giving them the key things they’re looking for and show that you take their needs seriously.

(It’s kind of like love languages. Some people show love through words of affirmation, and others through quality time. Understanding what your partner’s love language is helps you show them affection in the way that is most meaningful to them. What’s your boss’ “work love” language?)

Having empathy for their preferences allows you to see, “Oh, my manager’s biggest pet peeve is _______. In the future, I’ll prioritize that thing over others when I’m working/meeting/speaking with them.”

Show them you are listening.

Everybody likes it when other people do things their way and care about what they have to say. So do that! Sometimes it’s as simple as demonstrating that you are hearing what your boss is saying, and you’ll find that they in turn become more receptive to your ideas too.

As an introvert, I don’t always communicate my positive feelings about other people to them – which is sometimes all they really want. People often incorrectly assume introverts are stuck up and judgmental because we don’t naturally smile and nod along, so it’s important to consider what messages your body language and conversation style are sending to your boss too.

Find ways to demonstrate respect and listening, even if they don’t come naturally, like nodding, smiling, saying “thank you”, asking questions, and making eye contact when speaking with your boss. Do you get the impression your boss thinks you have an attitude problem? If you think your boss might think *you’re* the one who’s not listening or being helpful, try a couple of those simple tricks and see if it helps. You may not be communicating as much as you need to.

One of the best pieces of career advice I ever received was to ask advice of people and get them invested in helping you.  By enlisting them on your journey as a mentor that will be rooting for you and helping you succeed.  So perhaps look for an opportunity where your boss can help you or teach you a thing or two.

Solicit feedback and understand expectations

Asking someone’s advice does two things: it helps you get their opinion on an issue, and it also shows them you care about their opinion. Asking your boss for feedback, therefore, is killing two birds with one stone; you’ll get advice on improving your job performance and you’ll show your boss their opinion matters to you, all in one meeting. Not bad!

Ask for feedback (even if it’s not offered).

Bad managers come in many forms, but one of the most common is the manager who doesn’t have time for or interest in coaching their team as much as their team might want or need. You can remedy this by proactively asking for feedback yourself. If your boss isn’t good about scheduling 1:1’s with you, schedule them yourself.   If they aren’t making the time, then be proactive and seek the time with them.

Managers often don’t have a lot of time to do really in-depth performance reviews or regular 1:1’s with everyone on their team. This can be really frustrating when you’re looking to improve, but you don’t have to leave all the power in your boss’ hands. You can take charge of your own feedback, though, by asking your own, better questions that force more precise answers.\

Instead of asking a general “how am I doing?” question, bring a list. Control the meeting and get what you want – by asking for it.

Examples:

• What could have gone better in the last project?
• How could I have made that meeting more useful?
• Can you give me an example of what you’re looking for?
• Who is someone who does this exceptionally well?

[ Extra tip: you can get feedback in little ways without even calling a meeting. Try closing your emails to your boss with questions like: Do these look like the right priorities? Is there anything missing from this list? If I have extra time, where can I make the biggest impact this week? ]

Give them your feedback too.

As you may have heard me say before: no one comes to work to do a bad job. And I guarantee in almost every situation your bad boss wants to be doing a better job (and probably knows they have room for improvement). Your relationship with your boss is a two-way street, and even though you can’t sit them down and give them a performance review per se, you can offer them suggestions on how they can be a better boss *for you*.

For example, I know that as a manager, I don’t give people a ton of direction. Usually, people who need more information or clarification from me need to ask for it or else I won’t give it.

Another example is an engineer on one of my former teams who I knew felt underserved by me. I didn’t know what he needed from me, though, until one day he came into my office and told me, “I want you to coach me more. Give me more feedback and tell me how I can keep improving.” And that was all it took; we set up regular 1:1s and I started giving him the feedback he was looking for to improve.  Knowing that he wanted me to pay more attention was a trigger, and I sent him feedback on everything from how he conducted himself in meetings to the comments he made on team member’s checkins.

Managing upwards

Managing your manager isn’t easy, and there aren’t many guidelines for how to handle a superior who’s underperforming. At the end of the day, though, the one place I think every successful relationship negotiation starts with is with communication.

How have you dealt with a bad boss in the past?   Please leave tips, ideas or links to other articles in the comments since I am sure there are plenty of other strategies and examples of these sticky situations.

Bad Bosses – Managing Difficult People Part 1 is a post from: kate { mats }

If you are running an engineering organization of 5 or more people, and your product is launched, you shouldn’t be writing code.

Trust me.  I learned this lesson the hard way.

It is important that engineering leaders are technical.

Leading engineers means earning the respect of your team. It means you are capable of understanding and appreciating what they do, and able to steer the ship if it veers off course (which is likely really difficult if you aren’t technical, because how can you be sure they are doing it right if you don’t know how you would do it).

The fact is, technical expertise is critical to job function, which makes many engineering leaders a bit insecure (myself included). 

However, having been burned by my need to contribute as an engineer, I believe that most engineering leaders should not be writing code.  There are some exceptions – you have a small team, or a product that isn’t launched, for example – but if you are writing code at work with a title like CTO or VP Engineering then you likely have the wrong priorities, or the wrong title (yes, I am talking to all the CTOs that are really just senior engineers with fancy titles).

Why? Well let me explain….

I used to write code everyday.  I liked contributing to the product.  I wanted to be more than a manager, a member of “the team.” 

I don’t know where this desire came from. Perhaps it was my insecurity that people wouldn’t think I was technical if I wasn’t asking hard questions, commenting on check-ins, or demonstrating my technical prowess some other way.  Maybe it was my desire to be liked and part of the “us”. I often feel like organizations have this unfortunate unspoken line drawn somewhere between “us (the engineering team) and “them” (the management and everyone else) – this division sucks, but it seems to be the unfortunate nature of authority in most organizations.

However, in almost every leadership role I have had as the team grows the free time you have to work on your own priorities becomes less and less.

Let me tell you the little story that changed my views on engineering leaders that code…

……………………….

Once upon a time I was managing a team of about 7 developers.  We were furiously trying to sell our product, recruiting engineers, building new features, and trying to onboard new customers.  It may sound like a lot, but the reality is that is pretty much any startup.

There was this bug that customers had been complaining about, but it was a big change and because of the risk and new features had been deprioritized.  That week I had been on 2 escalations with premier customers about the issue, and I wanted to fix it.

Of course I didn’t have much time during the day (1:1s, interviews, slide decks, RFPs, sales calls, and standard product/software development work, too), so I cancelled all my weekend plans and starting Friday night until Monday morning I coded (I had built a large part of the system initially anyway).  I worked hard.  I barely slept.   I fixed this glaring bug, and I even wrote tests.  I was so proud.

[image source]

On Monday I rolled into the office a bit more disheveled than normal and I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about my triumph. 

I started with the CEO (who was my manager) 

Me: “Guess what I did this weekend? I fixed that awful bug that CusomerA and CustomerB were complaining about last week.”

Him: “I thought that was going to take a week or more to fix?”

Me: “Well it was, but I worked all weekend straight through and got it done.” 

Him: “Are you guys padding your estimates that much?  And why would you do that?  I could have really used your help on this RFP for Potential Client. You are an executive, not an engineer.  If I wanted someone to write code I would pay someone a lot less.”

Me: ** walks out of office dejected **

Ugh.  That was a blow to the ego. 
A hour or so later I have regained my sense of accomplishment so I go to the senior engineer on the team excited to tell him about what I accomplished over the weekend of hard work.

Me: “Hey, did you see the check-ins from the weekend?” 

Him: “Yeah.  I noticed you made a massive change.” 

Me: “I did!  I fixed that issue that CustomerA and CustomerB escalated last week.”

Him: “Seriously?  In one weekend?  How did you do it?”

More conversation ensues as I explain my approach and walk him through the code.  He gives some feedback here and there and that is the end of the conversation.

Lunch rolls around.

All the engineers decide to go out to lunch, but no one invited me to come.  This is unusual (like I said I like to be part of the “us”).

A few hours later I pull one of the guys aside (he and I worked together and at company previously and I hired him so we have a closer friendship). He proceeds to tell me that the whole team is irritated with how I fixed the problem, but no one wants to tell me because they work for me.  As you can imagine it is quite uncomfortable to tell your boss you aren’t happy with how something “works” and that you’ve a better plan to address the issue.  Ouch.

That night between my exhaustion and feeling like I let everyone down, I cried. 

It was one of the worst days in my career, and all these years I still remember how I felt. 
Not as much because of the fall out (there wasn’t much more after that day), but because I had thought I did something heroic and awesome, but it truly wasn’t work I should have been doing. 
I let my boss down, I let my team down, but I let myself down.

After that day I quit writing code at work, and it made me a better manager and leader.

I spent my time on helping the business, getting better at recruiting and building teams, and I deferred to my team.  I let them be the experts.  I invited them into the technical discussions when I knew their technical expertise would be necessary to ensure we set informed priorities and put a realistic plan in place.  They grew with guidance in my leadership.  People felt empowered and trusted.  I would help when needed in specific areas – but I didn’t jump in without being asked.  And when I would jump in to help, I acted like a houseguest – asking permission and making sure I only rearranged the furniture the way they wanted it.

I still was technical.  I often wrote code on the weekends.  Although the type of work I did is what I call tinkering. I would want to know about a new language or technology, and so I would build little sample applications (typically analogous to a slightly more advanced “Hello, World!”) – just to learn enough to form an opinion.  And I read a lot of articles, source code, and documentation on things that struck my fancy.

And everyone was better because I made this decision.

So why am I writing about this now?

Well I didn’t write it before because I was a coward.  I was worried people would judge me and say I wasn’t technical enough, or wasn’t a good engineer, and there was some other reason that was the real reason I didn’t write code. 

That isn’t a concern anymore though (since I am working on my own startup). 

I have been coding pretty much nonstop 7-days per week since January 24^th.  And I am damn proud of what I’ve been building.  Besides being a useful product, I would say that the code is better than many popular libraries and tools currently in use.   But mainly I am writing this now because I am not worried about anyone saying I am not technical.  And if they did, well, it really wouldn’t matter.

……………………….

If you are in a technical leadership role and feeling a bit insecure about your technical contributions -don’t be.  Chances are you are focusing on the right things – the hard work to move your business forward that no one else on the team can do.

Keep up the good work.

Why CTOs shouldn’t write code at work is a post from: kate { mats }

I used to spend most of my days in meetings.  Now I sit in a room and code the whole day. 

I would shower every morning before work.  This week I showered before going to visit one of my consulting clients and my husband was like “whoa, why are you taking a shower in the morning?”

I used to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Now I eat breakfast and sometimes dinner, but mostly things like toast.

When I was doing my job I would leave the details to my team and only step in if needed.  Now every detail is my responsibility.

Part of my job was to stay on top of technology and news, now the only website I seem to visit regularly is stackoverflow and API documentation.

I would always be pushing to launch quickly, now I am almost scared to launch my product because of this irrational fear of failure.

I would occasionally think about marketing and strategy.  Now I know I should be thinking about marketing and strategy but am too focused on building.

Saying no is hard to do

And while these changes are interesting, the most difficult change is learning to say no.

No, I can’t have coffee with you. 
No, I can’t help you with your startup.
No, I can’t come to your party. 
No, I can’t speak at your event. 
No, I can’t respond to your email this week. 

And so it goes.

But I am struggling with say no.  I feel bad when I do.  I feel like I am letting people down. I am only spending time on things that make money (namely consulting to bootstrap my company), or is directly involved in my startup.  Otherwise I am turning things down.

That is all fine and good, but I feel like I am missing out!

I want to go these things.  I want to go speak at conferences. I want to help other people cultivate their ideas.  I want to mentor other people the way people have mentored me.  And I miss my friends.

I have really put a lot of energy into trying to understand this part of myself.  I know I am a people pleaser.  I know I want to make others happy.  And there is part of me avoiding my startup work, because I have this fear around launching my product. 

I worry people won’t use it.  I worry people won’t pay for it.  I worry enough people won’t pay for it before I run out of runway.  I am so scared of failing.

My experience has been around scaling existing products.  My strength has been in building the team and making an organization fast and efficient.  I feel out of my comfort zone building a first version of something.

More of my fears

 Last week I presented at a conference and while I was there I would tell people about my product idea.  The good thing was that I really got my elevator pitch down.  However, by the end of the conference I was actually avoiding meeting new people.  Why?  Because I didn’t want to hear any more things like:

“Do you think people will pay for that?”

“Have you heard of company xyz?  I think they tried that and failed.”

“Why would you build that when your background is in large-scale systems?  You are wasting your talents.”

“Why would you build something like that?  You should join our startup instead.”

I started off the conference confident and excited to tell people about my project and ended the conference with more self-doubt.  That being said, I believe in my idea and just can’t wait to launch a product I am proud of. But….

Everything is taking longer that I would like.  

My software was functionally complete over 2 weeks ago, but then we were doing some customer tests and I realized that it was a bit confusing on the on boarding.  So now I am rewriting that and changing a lot of the nomenclature (I am longing for XCode refactoring support in Ruby actually).  

I am a big fan of the MVP launch early model, however, I also realize that I many only get one shot with a lot of customers, so I have developed this performance anxiety around letting people use my software.

I am protective of it, and my focus is on making the new user experience fantastic.  I feel more like Steve Jobs than what I preach to others about getting your product out in front of customers early and getting validation.  I fully admit to being a hypocrite.

It is definitely a learning experience though, and I am very excited that my private beta should start in the next week or so.

Woo!  Thanks to everyone for their support, and for their forgiveness on my belated email replies

Have a fantastic week!

And if you want to keep up to date on my launch and general happenings, you can always subscribe to my launch list.  I am sending updates and status every week or so.

The Transition – the culture shock of corporate to startup in your 30s. is a post from: kate { mats }