Lately I have been catching episodes of the new season of Millionaire Matchmaker during my workouts, and while certainly being entertaining, there are a lot of interesting take aways pertaining to human interactions. One thing you see a lot of is first meetings between people (via introductions, try outs, or even setup dates). After watching a lot of these meetings, here are some key things I thought were worth remembering:
- Just because you think it looks good, doesn’t mean anyone else will. Fashion comes and goes, and while some trends can look great, the majority of people like good old fashioned, clean cut style. Patty is constantly telling ladies to wear simple, clean clothes. I have heard her recommend little black dresses on at least 3 occasions. There are some things you just can’t get wrong — and so any time you have something important coming up, don’t take a fashion risk – go with the classics. (Oh and this does include hair styles – most people with prefer natural, flowing hair vs. teased contrived styles/colors)
- Listen! When you meet someone else, the best thing you can do is ask them questions and actually take the time to listen to their answers. Sometimes when people get nervous, or really want to impress someone else they resort to talking about themselves (big mistake). The best thing you can do is ask the other person questions and be genuinely interested in what they have to say.
- Don’t talk about anything sad/depressing/etc. Even if your life resembles a country song, no one wants to hear about it. People are attracted to positive people that make them feel good. Talking about your eating disordered, dead family, illness or ailments, lost job, etc., is not a way to make people want to talk about you. Save those topics for the people that already like you – not for the first time you meet someone.
- Be respectful. Sometimes the women/men come in and are disrespectful to Patty because they don’t like her very blunt criticism/opinions. While I definitely thing she can be a bit terse and caustic with her remarks, at some level she is trying to help the girls. Always remember to be respectful and if someone says something (even if you don’t like it!) there could be some value in their statement and a chance for you to learn something. Plus, being gracious can only make a good impression, anything else could do the contrary.
- Be mysterious! Don’t put it all out there. Ask questions, be interesting, but don’t try to tell the other person everything there is to know about you. Some mystery is intriguing and you always want the other person to come away wanting to know more.
- Leave on a high note. Make sure you exit the conversation gracefully, and before you run out of things to say. It is always better to leave the person wanting more than to end on dead, awkward silence.
As you know learning to be better in social settings is one of my on-going areas for improvement, so if you have any other ideas or tips, feel free to leave them in the comments!