So this weekend was the 6th weekend in a row that I had worked.  And I am not talking a little email here and there, I am talking about full on sitting down at my computer and working for multiple hours.  Normally I am not one to complain, and I truly love the company I where I work, but after all these hours and personal sacrifice one has to ask—is it worth it?

As I have mentioned previously I left my corporate job to join a startup, thinking that longer hours and less pay would have the chance at a larger return in the future because of the stock options.  I still believe that to be true.  However, given all my hard work I have been thinking more and more that I want to start my own company and become a founder.  I work hard enough to be one (so I know the work ethic is there) and I know I am smart enough–so what is stopping me?

To answer this question I put together a list of everything I could think of as my excuses:

  1. The regular paycheck.  I am not a one person household (if you are, and you are reading this, you should go and start your own company because things change when you have others who depend on you) and I worry about what not having a paycheck will do to the people who matter most to me.  Part of this is because I am scared of what not having regular money will affect my life.  It is weird but I have had this fear since I have been a child.  This is why I have never even gone more than a week or so without a job.  Yes, that is right the 3 times I have changed careers I haven’t taken a week off.  In 2 of the 3 instances I quit on a Friday and started the new job on a Monday.
  2. Fear of failure.  Again this is more related to the paycheck thing.  I am worried that even if my idea is good and I am able to move it forward I won’t be able to make enough money to sustain our lives.  It is kind of weird, since I am not as worried about the business and am more worried about my personal vitality.  I guess I have a ton of confidence in being able to execute and build a successful business–it just always seems easier to do under the safety net of someone else.
  3. Lack of the perfect idea.  I have a whole bunch of good ideas, and I have done enough research I know that they are viable.  However, I still worry that it won’t be successful enough.
  4. Leaving my current position.  I love the company where I work, and I like to think that I am important there.  Needless to say that those are hefty reservations that would make it very difficult for me to leave.

So that is where I am at right now with my thinking.  I am working on saving up a nest egg, so I have the option of taking time off and not working to start my own company.  I really can’t do anything part time (other than ponder my ideas of course)–mostly because I work so much at my job and trying to do two things would mean spreading myself too thin (which for me typically means not doing a particularly good job at either endeavor).

In the interim I am going to keep blogging on my progress, but I am open to any suggestions or words of encouragement 🙂

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